#honestly nothing is real to me anymore
#nothing feels the same and its kinda weird how its the end of the year and im worse?
#2018 like everyone has said has been thr best and worst and i understand that
#ive had the worst or well some bad stuff happened but i have a different mindset as to how ive handled it
#and i still havent improved mentally and my room is still the same as it was last year and i really want to make improvements still
#but i feel like im even more numb and i dont seetbe point anymore
#christmas doesnt feel real and im grateful for what i have but i feel like i dont derseve or need anything i got
#i feel so tired i think but also time really doesnt feel real like im 21 now and im just trying to get by day by day
#idc what day or month or year it is i dont want to focus on that idk if this makes sense
#im glad i got a new job tho i hope i start to see something more for myseld in 2019